Playing to Lose

Lesson #96: Always take a moment to reflect.

Hello again, all!  After a long, productive weekend, I’m finally back with the final installment of the series.  I hope that all your weekends have gone well, and I’m glad that you’re back to enjoy my work…:).  Moving on to lesson 5!

5. “Get out of the ****ing fire!”

This is a mantra that has been become notorious among large WoW groups, especially when fighting a particularly difficult in-game boss.  It comes from the tendency of most WoW bosses(and real-life bosses) to pause mid-fight and start dropping circles of fire, or waves of fire, or, in some horrifying instances, tornadoes of fire.  But, believe it or not, the real problem isn’t the fire.  Everyone knows that the fire is coming.  Everyone knows what to expect.  The problem is that players sometimes focus so much on trying to maximize their performance that they get tunnel vision.  They forget the danger and they start focusing on only their attack rotations* or their spell rotations, because they want to out-perform everyone else.

*Note: Attack rotations and spell rotations refer to the sequences of keys pressed while fighting in World of Warcraft.  Each press corresponds to a different attack or spell, and when they are pressed in the correct sequence, they can increase your overall damage substantially.

When you’re busy trying to master a rotation, it can be pretty easy to forget that there’s a swirling circle of death right below your feet.  Until that circle drains all of your life away and you can no longer do anything.

Surprisingly, this is how many of us approach our work.  We establish routines that we feel will give us the greatest boost in performance…and then we follow them.  We attempt to master them.  But then one day, a little circle of fire pops up beneath our feet, telling us that circumstances have changed.  It tells us that we need to stop for a while and change it up.  Maybe you just had a baby.  Maybe you just got married.  Maybe your job responsibilities have changed.  And these are all things that require us to be fluid.  They require us to take a few steps away mentally.  But we don’t.  We get so caught up in our routines that we forget the big picture.  And so we keep grinding away…until that little circle of fire drains us completely, and we soon find that we have no life left.

Being the best is great.  Maximizing your performance is fantastic.  But don’t let it come at the expense of the rest of your life.

If we don’t want to burn out…every once in a while, we need to get out of the ****ing fire.

6. Success is a numbers game.

On its face, WoW is a game of beautiful graphics and enjoyable gameplay, but at its heart, it is a numbers game, pure and simple. And just as in life, nothing is guaranteed.

You can increase the chances that your strikes will land.  You can research until you know every strategy and dungeon layout ever conceived.  You can fine-tune your abilities to the point where you are almost unstoppable alone.  But you are never assured victory.

No matter how well-equipped you are, no matter how well you play, there are always factors that can work against you.  Sometimes your groupmates will be incompetent.  Sometimes the monster you’re fighting will glitch and become immortal by accident(yes, it has happened).  Sometimes you’ll spend hours in a dungeon only to discover that the one random item you came in for didn’t drop.  It happens.  So what are you going to do about it?

When it happens in WoW, people willingly throw themselves into the same dungeons over and over again until they’ve gotten it right and gotten everything they want.  It might take days.  It might take weeks.  For some, it might take months.  But still, they do it.

Out in the real world, these same people will try something once…and then when it doesn’t work out for them, they give up.  They say they’re no good at it.  They say it’s a waste of time.  But what they don’t realize is that real life and WoW really aren’t all that different.  It’s not that they’re doing it wrong.  It’s just that they don’t understand that things work the same way out here as they do in WoW.  No matter how good your gear…no matter how prepared you are…no matter how talented…you will fall many times.  Maybe you didn’t get a job.  Maybe you got shot down for a date.  Maybe you lost the big game.  But the big question is, are you going to give up?

…Or are you going to run that dungeon again?

Thanks so much for reading, my friends!  That concludes “5 Productivity Lessons I Learned from World of Warcraft”, but if you’re sad that it’s over, don’t worry!  I thought of quite a few more lessons while I was putting this last installment together…and if all goes well, there may be some future installments in the works!   Thanks again for reading and enjoying, and please share!

Hey, all, great news.  I’ve recently been asked to submit an article over at PickTheBrain.com!

It’s a great site, with all sorts of helpful information to improving your life and making yourself more productive.  So please, go check out my article, and browse around a bit.  Thanks very much for all your kind words and support…:).  Now go check it out!

Would you believe me if I told you that there is very little separating you from the likes of creative geniuses like Leonardo da Vinci and Albert Einstein?  Probably not.  But it’s true.  And it’s not even an intellectual difference.

Every human being holds within themselves the spark of divine genius.

The thing that keeps most of us from becoming great creators and scientists like da Vinci and Einstein is not a vast difference in intellectual ability.  No, the limitation that separates us from great creators like these is the fact that we are constantly striving to become something that resembles our idea of a “grown-up.”  And in doing so, we have come to abuse and mis-use our imaginations.

If you get the chance, observe a young child at play for a little while and consider why you don’t think that way anymore.  I don’t know about you, but as children, my friends and I visualized amazing, fantastic things.  We imagined that we were kings…warriors….pirates…astronauts…doctors.  We created entire worlds unto ourselves, and we made changes to those worlds as we saw fit.  And that’s what creative geniuses like da Vinci and Einstein do.  They see the world through a completely different lens, and they decide that they will change it.  And sometimes their visions are so strong that they completely revolutionize the way that the rest of us see things.

Why can’t the rest of us do that?

When we grow up, we begin to become aware that the world has some sort of expectations of us…and we begin to become self-conscious.  We begin to fear being excluded from society, and we slowly stop using our imaginations to create.  We stop trying to be different.  We stop trying to change the world.  We stop living our lives for ourselves.  And what do we start using our poor imaginations for?

Worrying.

We start to worry about what people will think.  We start to worry about what will happen to us in the future.  We start to worry about fitting in.  And the creative potential within our vast imaginations is channelled almost exclusively into worrying and forging worst-case scenarios.  So when can we find the time to create solutions?  We can’t.  Because we’re attempting to change the world by trying to be grown-ups. And this simply cannot work.  The pursuit of adulthood creates stress.  Stress creates worrying.  And worrying does not create solutions.  Only problems.

As someone that spent a long time trying to cope unsuccessfully with the transition from boy to man, I beseech you…please stop worrying about that elusive ideal of adulthood.  It does not exist.  All of us are still children, playing “house” and “dress-up.”  It’s just that somewhere along the way, the games became our lives.  But the good news is that if our games can become our lives…then our lives can also become our games…:).  If you truly want to get back in touch with your potential for genius, you should start by casting off the world’s expectations of you…and committing to rediscovering that boy or girl that once built castles in the sky.

I’d like to leave you all with a quote from G.M. Trevelyan:

“Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing.”

Thank you for reading, my friends.  May you all think of at least six impossible things before breakfast!  And kudos to whoever can tell me where I got that last sentence from…;).

To a lot of people, this idea will seem counter-intuitive.  Motivation is the most powerful thing you can have, right?  Doesn’t it make sense that having more motivation will always equal better performance?  Well, yes and no.

There’s a systematic cycle that many people exercise when it comes to work.  First, you plan out a strategy to achieve a desired result.  Then you execute it.  Then you assess your results.  If the results aren’t satisfactory, you tweak your strategy and execute it again.  And then repeat the cycle ad infinitum, with your results gradually getting better a little bit at a time.

This is how many people live their lives, because they’re laboring under this false pretense that hard work equals a better life.

But what you don’t realize as you’re going through this cycle over and over again is that you’re slowly grinding yourself down, because you’re not stepping away from the cycle long enough to recuperate your energy.  You’re just going through the motions and making small tweaks over and over again, slowly approaching your goal.

Try to pretend that your mind is a car, and your motivation is speed.  The more motivated you are, the more you push that pedal to the floor.  Your brain starts firing on all four cylinders and you start working much faster.  But guess what?

You also burn fuel much faster.

For a short-term goal, that’s fine, because your mind usually has the reserves to manage that journey.  But most major goals aren’t short-term.  They take place over the course of a career…or a lifetime.  Do you really think that your mind contains enough fuel to maintain that level of motivation for a lifetime?

Of course not.

Your mind needs fuel.

It needs you to stop once in a while and refill it with whatever it is that makes you motivated.  Do you love your family?  Spend time with them!  Do you have a favorite hobby?  Go do it.  Do you meditate to clear your mind?  Set time aside for it.  Your mind needs a break.

And this is the big piece of the puzzle that most people fail to see.  If you’re like most people, you’ve bought into the great industrial ideal that people who work harder are the people who end up on top.  But in order to continue working towards a great goal, you must stop once in a while to play.  To enjoy your life.  Don’t get so engrossed in your work that you forget the reason that you work in the first place.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

When you rest more often, and you give your brain a break, you don’t just allow yourself to recuperate.  You also make yourself more effective when it counts.  Think about a group soldiers in enemy territory, taking turns keeping watch at night.  Does one soldier keep watch for the entire night?  No, because that soldier will gradually fatigue.  And their attention will decline.  And the enemy’s chance of invading the camp will increase.

But if the soldiers take turns, not only will the soldier on watch be more alert, but every soldier will be able to give 100% if a battle ensues.  That is how you must treat your mind.  There are some people that are working all the time in their heads, even when they’re home with their families.  These people are extremely motivated, but they’re also slowly wearing themselves down and losing their edge.  And they usually aren’t able to come through in a clutch situation.

If you want to stay sharp, harness your motivation.  Know when to work and when to play, and give equal time to each.  Even gods must rest from time to time.

Thank you for reading, my friends.  I hope that your motivation always keeps you hungry…but I also hope you remember to eat from time to time…;).

Imagine a steel beam bridging a 50-foot gap between two buildings.  It’s suspended 100 feet in the air.  You’re standing at one end.  And someone has just offered you $100,000 to run across to the other end without stopping.  Would you do it?

Most people would say no.  Hell, most people wouldn’t even think about it.

But what if you got that exact same offer and the beam was safely down on the ground?  Would you do it, then?  Of course you would.

So what’s the difference?

The difference isn’t just the presence of danger in the first scenario.  It’s what that danger does to your conscious mind.

When you’re on the ground, and danger is minimal or nonexistent, there’s no reason to stop and think about the consequences.  You simply trust your body to do what needs to be done, and your body complies.  And if you’re not abnormally clumsy, you can run across that beam without any trouble at all.  It’s a breeze.

But when you’re 100 feet above the ground and one wrong step could mean serious injury or death, you hesitate.  A lot.  Why?  Because the risk is significantly greater, and this causes your conscious mind to turn into the world’s worst backseat driver.  Imagine trying to drive a car with a passenger that is randomly screaming at possible dangers.  When you were driving alone, you were absolutely fine…but now there’s this person constantly screaming and trying to grab the wheel.  Now your chances of crashing are beginning to ramp up exponentially.

These situations are a metaphor for our lives.  We want to follow our dreams.  We want to start our own businesses.  We want to ask someone out.  But our conscious minds tell us that these are high-risk situations, and it doesn’t matter whether the risk is real or perceived.  Our conscious mind will begin over-thinking and screaming at us, trying to control us and make corrections that don’t need to be made.

So what do we do?

Many of us panic when faced with these situations.  Or hesitate.  Or give up entirely.  But, strangely enough, we never stop to realize that the entire situation is still within our control if we decide to handle it.

Instead of yourself, try imagining a hungry cat on the beam(a much smaller one, of course)100 feet in the air, with a delicious meal at the other end.  Do you think it would hesitate?  Not for a second.  The cat isn’t going to stop and rationalize all the possibilities of what could and couldn’t happen along the path of that beam.  The cat sees only two things:  the goal and the path.  And so should you.

So how do you do it?  Focus on the things that you can control, and try to accept the things that you can’t.  Whether you’re standing on that beam or preparing for a huge presentation, your goal is simple: get to the other side.

Shouldn’t I have some sort of plan first?

Of course you have to prepare.  Understand the steps that you’re going to take.   Take whatever precautions that you can.  But also realize that a plan is really just a list of things that can go wrong.

When you’re facing a moment of truth where important things hang in the balance…your huge presentation, your wedding day, your surgery…there’s never enough time to second-guess or hesitate. All you can do is close your eyes,  take a deep breath, and remember your preparation.  Control what you can.  And accept what you can’t.

So whatever your beam is, stay true to your path.  Forget the height.  Forget the risk.  Forget about getting to the other side altogether.  Just focus on what you can control…and start putting one foot in front of the other.  You’ll be there before you know it.

Thank you for reading, friends!  May you always put one foot in front of another(metaphorically, for those of you who are physically unable to do so)and I’ll see you on the other side…:).

There’s a scene in the movie “Hitch” where Kevin James and Will Smith are discussing James’ new shoes.

James says, “…I don’t think they’re really me.”

And Smith responds by saying, “‘You’ is a very fluid concept right now.  You bought the shoes.  You look great in the shoes.  That’s the you I’m talking about.”

There’s a myth in modern society that each of us has a fixed, concrete personality that determines how we react to things every day.

There couldn’t be anything further from the truth.

You have no personality.  Neither do I.  Neither does anyone else.

The things that we call ‘personalities’ are really just a nebulous cloud of beliefs, memories, and influences.  And this cloud is constantly changing, all the time.  Every single action, reaction, and interaction that we experience shifts the position of everything in that cloud.  This basically means that trying to maintain a constant personality for your entire life is about as feasible as stepping the same river twice.  It simply can’t be done.

Now, some people want to hold on to their personalities.  They find comfort in believing that they are in a constant frame of mind that dictates what they will and won’t do.  But why would you want to?

Imagine that you love your house just the way that it is right now.  You love the way your house is constructed.  You love the way your furniture is aligned.  You love how organized and uncluttered everything is.  It’s perfect.  Now imagine trying to keep your house that way for your entire life.  Maybe you’ll get married, maybe you’ll have children.  If you keep everything exactly the way it is, how will you make room for these new things in your life?  You can’t make room for your spouse.  You can’t make room for your children.  That would involve rearranging furniture or adding to the house!  Adding these new things to your life is nearly impossible if you can’t make room for them in your life…and trying to integrate them into your life and keeping things exactly the way they are will only cause you unnecessary stress.

This is what a lot of people do with their personalities.  They try to hold on to a preconceived idea of “who they are”, and they don’t make room in their minds for any new ideas, even if the ideas could greatly enrich their lives.

As a result, they stress.  They stress because they think that there is some concrete ideal that they are supposed to be.  But our minds are not solid things.  They are fluid.  They are meant to ebb and flow, to accommodate and absorb new ideas.

So if you’re reading this and you’re carrying around a “personality” that you think you’re supposed to fit in to…a role that you feel you must play…unnecessary pressures that weigh you down…just put it down for a moment.  It’s a suit of armor that you don’t need to be wearing.  And if you think that putting your personality aside doesn’t feel like you…well…”you” is a very fluid concept right now…;).

Thanks for reading, my friends…please share this with others and have a fantastic day!